My Book of Uncommon Prayers: State of Mine

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It is a selfish state of mine when all the world exists for me; and

in my mind,

I weigh worth against my own need. And

a demagogue rails and acts the fool, and I rail back because of how he makes me feel; and

it’s my opinions that hang in the balance not the fates of rulers and nations.

And a bully’s words never fail to disappoint—and

it’s my cynicism and disillusionment that hang in the balance not the fates of souls.

It is a selfish state of mine when there are so many FundMe’s and so many pictures of the abandoned and bleeding that it becomes easier and easier to scroll on by—

dismissing the problem because it is not

mine.

A lasting look might bring conviction, and I have neither time nor energy for conviction

in this worn state of mine.

*****************

My heart gets smaller as my vision gets narrower.

Enlarge my selfish self to see the needs You see.

Increase strength to carry my share.

Help me to stop crossing off crosses—

checking off tasks I am unable or unwilling to do.

May Your mind, oh, Christ, overpower my fictions and fill my soul with

illumination.

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