An Unforever Friend

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It could have been a lifelong friendship,

haven’t-seen-you-like-forever-but-everything’s-the-same kind of friendship.

 

We shared tight, little secrets that only capital F Friends should share.

We pontificated over politics—all the things we could never change.

We wept over children—all the heart-pains that only mothers know

and only Friends can share.

We shared meals, split tabs, told jokes, prayed prayers,

taking time to just be

and sometimes read each other’s minds.

 

But the shared whispers have disappeared.

The warm hugs have been replaced by unreturned phone calls

and occasional hurried-life passings–as life is passing.

 

I have grieved your loss as one who died;

but your life is so full

you don’t seem to notice I am not in it.

 

I thought we would be friends forever,

capital F Friends, unshakeable Friends,

but forever has come to an end.

 

6 thoughts on “An Unforever Friend

      1. I don’t know why it happens but it does and it hurts. These past few years there were friends I thought would be more present but aren’t. Maybe it’s too much for them. Maybe they think It’s my fault or it’s too depressing. I don’t know but it’s sad. Hugs friend

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      2. I guess it’s just life, but you are never ready for it. Part of it is due to our expectations that others just don’t have the capacity to meet. Part of it is a recognition that our own need is so great, and though we would like to think God is present with us and all we need, we do need other flesh and blood types to just be there for us, and then when they can’t for whatever reason, it feels like betrayal–even if it isn’t. The friend I wrote this about was leaving the area, and I happened to run into her at TJ’s. We had a really nice chat, and I told her that when I had lost her friendship that I had grieved. She looked shocked and told me I had never lost it. What she didn’t realize or remember was that she stopped going to lunch with me (when we had gone to lunch every week for years), she stopped returning my calls and notes, and we had not even spoken for over 4 years. But in her mind, we were still okay. Looking in her eyes, I could tell that she honestly did not see what had happened. It was good closure for me to a painful loss, but it also showed me that sometimes as clear as I think I am making my needs and/or wishes known, some just don’t see you. Their own lives are complicated, and they see what they want or need to see, leaving us who feel betrayed to walk on alone. I am rambling a bit 🙂 but it is hard, but life. And I’m not sure how to fix it for me or for you. But when all things are new, perhaps we will have peace about these hard things.

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  1. I am finally at a place that I trust God will bring people in my life and and take them out even if it is for a season. I just have to trust and pray. Set aside my flesh (emotions) of hurt feelings or just talk to them and ask why. Maybe its a misunderstanding? Or I have found that they are running away and a true good friend will call them out. They are hiding, sometimes your own flesh and blood does that. So we pray and wait in love and get busy about loving on those The Lord brings in our lives at the moment. Lets do lunch 😉

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